Part 2: Embracing the fear of failure as an entrepreneur
The courage to leave a stable Tech career amidst the pandemic
This is the second part of a series. If you missed part 1, you can find it here:
Part 1: Finding a new identity beyond a resume and a paycheck
For two years, I felt like an “undercover agent” at Salesforce. After business hours, I’d offer energy healing & coaching sessions (as a gift to friends and referrals) in the meditation rooms.
And at the first workshop I led at Salesforce Park Amphitheater, I taught techniques to remain grounded through stress and anxiety, tools to convey difficult emotions, and the benefits of allowing emotions to flow through you.
But I never advertised the workshop — all attendees came through personal invitations or word of mouth.
I told myself that I wanted to "fly under the radar," but beneath my stories, it just felt safer for me to play small. Now, I see that a part of me was avoiding owning my magic. If I never advertised my work, I couldn't fail in a public way.
So, I avoided the vulnerable risk of rejection or judgment if I shared what I was up to, in an effort to keep myself safe.
The Wisdom of Fear
According to my own standards of a life well-lived, I wanted to be of service. I wanted everything I did to support more unconditional love in the world, and it felt like I was failing at that mission. Software and tech life felt void of heart-centricity for me.
I had to admit to myself that I’d been coasting (a pattern revealed to me by ayahuasca).
Walking around Salesforce Park with my co-worker and beloved friend Veronica, I shared my discouragement about doing work that didn’t fulfill me, and the fear of failure around building my own business.
Her listening ear and supportive words gave me the courage to let my heart break.
And as I let it break, that’s what broke me free.
I faced the voice of inner fear telling me, "You’re not credible enough yet. You’re not ready yet! You have to make sure you’re the real deal. You should be farther along by now."
I had to fully feel the heartbreak beneath the fear before I could access courage to quit my day job and become an entrepreneur.
I knew that it was time to take action from a place of passion, not from fear. And I began to see the wisdom behind the fear — the ways it propelled me towards what I wanted.
I could see how it led me to invest in coaching & facilitator trainings and to put in the time practicing the tools in my own life.
So, three months into COVID, I walked away from a promotion and $200k salary, started teaching breathwork at tech companies, and coaching one-off clients while traveling the world with my husband.
What’s coming next will reveal how all these pieces come together as I launch a new business venture.
P.S. I’m releasing a new offering this week. More details coming, and you can take a sneak peek below…