Part 1: Finding a new identity beyond a resume and a paycheck

This is the first part of a series. Here’s the link to part 2 and 3:

• Part 2: Embracing the fear of failure as an entrepreneur

• Part 3: How I Owned my Magic and Found Meaning in My Work

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Just a few years ago, I was an Enterprise Customer Success leader at Salesforce. When I accepted the offer in 2017, it felt like my “dream job” working with some of their largest and most complex clients. The salary felt like a deep exhale for me — I had everything I needed and more.

I’d believed the title on my resume and the number on my paycheck were the measures of my value. I’d come from an early career where I was part of quadrupling the size and revenue for an executive headhunting firm. At Salesforce, the meditation rooms for mental health and the casual nature of a Tech job, I felt my wellbeing improve.

Salesforce Tower speaker: Candace Sauvé

I felt on top of the world while owning a room of executives, and honored at being invited to speak on stage to at Dreamforce (the biggest Tech conference of the year — which I declined).

I knew I was not in my zone of genius.

Every week was filled with back-to-back meetings and high pressure scenarios. So every weekend, I’d needed solo time on the beaches of northern California to escape the chaos of San Francisco.

I’d drive however long it took to reach the edge of the fog to find sunshine.

I’d scour HYY 1 for empty beaches week after week, and I knew all my training in mental health would be my greatest ally as I’d explore questions like:

1. Who am I?

2. How do I find fulfillment?

3. What’s my purpose?

4. So, who am I?

“That is the real spiritual awakening, when something emerges from within you that is deeper than who you thought you were. The person is still there, but one could almost say that something more powerful shines through.”
- Eckhart Tolle

What I didn’t know at the time was that my weekend getaways would provide the perfect environment for transformation. They would become the origin point of everything shifting for me — my job, who I dated, how I related to family, who I chose as friends, my identity, and most importantly my relationship to myself.

The combination of solo time in nature and plant medicine awakened the truth about the relationships in my life…

• My relationship to myself was hyper critical and rigid.

• My relationship to life partnership was protective and skeptical.

• My relationship to my friends was surface level and intermittent.

• And my relationship to my work was full of obligation and survival.

Something shifted in me, and I felt called into purpose-driven work — but I had no idea where to start, and so I played around. And the story continues…