The freedom of walking away from $200k
I’m living in Costa Rica for the next month, and joining the One World Tantra Festival starting tomorrow.
I’ve cleared my calendar to have zero work commitments on the horizon (for the first time in 19 years).
And I’m in awe at how much my life has shifted in last few years to allow for this amount of freedom.
During COVID, I made four important decisions that led me to today:
I walked away from a six figure salary at one of the world’s largest software companies. It unearthed fear & insecurity that led me to deep confidence.
I chose to stop teaching tech leadership workshops with Edmond. It shattered my concept of what a successful entrepreneur looked like.
I decided to stop leading breathwork for corporate teams. It's been a good run, but it's only a sliver of what I'm capable of.
And I created and facilitated my first 4-week intimacy program with 10 women. It was so rad. I feel like I'm strapping on a jet pack 🚀 and I'm getting ready to let it rip.
Until recently, I believed the story that “grinding for hard-earned money“ was embedded in my DNA.
I earned my first paycheck from McDonalds at 14 years old, and worked 1-2 jobs nonstop since then.
I thought that “hustling to create financial stability” meant powering through stress and sacrificing my wellbeing.
While microdosing mushrooms on the weekends in Santa Cruz for over a year, my life’s work began calling me.
It was telling me I’m meant to share so much more of who I am.
Its request was to step away from “climbing the corporate ladder.”
Then COVID happened.
I feared I was dumb to leave a stable career.
I feared that I had zero skills beyond my corporate identity.
I feared that anything else I’d try would never take off.
So, I used the fear as my fuel.
I’d planned to leave my job for over a year, and a pandemic wasn't going to slow me down.
I’d been leading Breathwork sessions for Salesforce since the start of COVID.
And the glowing testimonials were pouring in.
I knew it was time to make the leap.
So, I took the biggest risk of my career — I left a $200k corporate salary to start my own company.
I came out of my job “guns blazing” aiming to replace my salary as fast as possible.
Before my last day, I'd already set up Breathwork sessions with my first client - a security team at Google.
And my second client wasn't far behind.
I had this subconscious metric for entrepreneurial success and I was determined to hit it (which I never did).
So, I kept pushing myself on the inside, when what I really needed was rest.
I hired a leadership coach, Sharon Kirstin, to help me reprogram my “hustle mentality.” She showed me that…
I can listen within for the next step that feels expansive and exciting.
I can trust my intuition and take action accordingly.
And a whole world of possibility opened up by following my excitement...
I co-created and led a program on effective tech leadership alongside my husband Edmond and our friend Katrina, who are both talented workshop designers. Each program brought in $60k and Edmond brilliantly sold it to three clients with back-to-back deadlines.
I joined their creative “sandbox” to build the modules from scratch based on a proposal we'd created in Hawaii.
I felt invigorating at first, as we co-created and travelled Italy and Switzerland together.
But the enjoyment came to a screeching halt in Dominican Republic where I admitted that teaching “effectiveness” was not the work that was calling me.
Edmond had written an entire book on effectiveness, and the misalignment was causing massive disruption between us.
We all knew the dynamic wasn’t working.
So I walked away.
I’d been conditioned to believe that “corporate work” and “high revenue products” were my markers for success.
Part of me feared failure as a new entrepreneur.
Part of me felt more free than ever!
I decided to “play in my own sandbox” and build a 4-week beta program for women to explore their relationship to life partnership. The entire process flowed through me with such ease.
The exact people who were meant to be there magnetized to me like magic.
Some attendees I was very close with, one I hadn't connected with in 7 years, and a few felt like soul family after only just recently meeting.
It felt like the stars aligned in my favor.
Each woman explored and owned how they relate to intimacy, fears, and shame so they can move forward from a clear and empowered stance.
The program focused on loving each other and ourselves — as we are. Nothing to fix or change.
As I created the content, I brought in Edmond and a few friends for collaboration when it felt fun.
The beta program may have been facilitated solo, though it was the product of teamwork.
I felt more alive in my work than ever before.
I’d tapped into my creative genius and saw the whole vision — women’s programs, men’s programs, retreats, sacred medicine ceremonies, etc. More on this to come!
While I was running the beta program, one of my morning meditations showed me it was time to “close down” the Breathwork business. My next step was so clear.
Over the last year of traveling the world, I’ve felt invigorated leading breathwork.
It’s been amazing to see 97 NPS scores, and to work with breathers at Gong, Deloitte, Salesforce, and Cisco.
But I never had the desire to scale the business.
I never invested in outbound sales.
I never thought “I’m all in!”
I’d been holding back my full capacity, and that was a sign that Breathwork just was a stepping stone.
So, I followed my intuition to close the business.
On my wrap up call with my favorite client, they invited me to teach Breathwork to 700 employees at their global kickoff.
They jokingly told me I’d created a cult and asked if they could change my mind.
It felt so good to be appreciated and to go out with a bang.
It’s time to commit 100% to listening to my intuition for my next step in this journey.
When I commit 100% I accomplish so much more.
So, now I have a blank slate.
It can go anywhere from here.