My name is Candace - but you can call me Kiki
An alter-ego becomes a portal for becoming who I am truly called to be.
My parents chose the name “Candace Erin Sauve” to mean “bright and shining one.”
Before I even knew what that sentence truly meant, I would unknowingly live up to it by playing dress up with my siblings and having performances as often as I could enroll others to be part of the show.
In my mid 20’s, this identity became a version of myself that I rejected. She was a someone who expected herself to “always be happy.” To always be bright and shiny. Which meant I would a suppress what felt real and true to me.
At some point, I unknowingly rejected that “bright and shiny” identity in an effort to allow my genuine self to be revealed.
In 2018, when I planned to exit my career in Tech at Salesforce, I needed more courage than ever and created it by taking on a new identity and choosing a new name.
The first thing I was trained in was energy-healing (reiki) and I began to see clients on the side after work. It was in my reiki training that I was taught that “ki” means energy in Japanese. And at the time, I needed the energy and momentum to leave behind an identity I'd relied on for security and success.
So, I chose the name “kiki” as to signify building energy as commitment to myself to build a new life, a new career as an entrepreneur, and a new identity.
On my birthday two years ago, I’d described Kiki as my alter ego — someone who…
Fully owned her emotions, her truth, and her magic.
Who could allow life to flow through her.
Who felt her way through the world by making choices from a blend of intuition and logic.
Sometimes, adopting an alter-ego becomes a portal into the next stage of growth. It certainly did for me!
Over the last few years of traveling the world, I'd introduce myself as “Kiki” as I attended trainings, retreats, or facilitated workshops. And as I did, I began to really step into the radiance of who I was becoming.
Kiki can also be translated as “to be ruined” in Japanese. To be ruined was to obliterate myself through love. By loving the parts of my old self that were ready to be “ruined,” I could see what remained and rebuild from there.
Now I can see that Kiki is no longer just an alter-ego. It’s becoming an integrated version of who I am today and who I am called to be.
p.s. I’d love to hear from you if this story resonates, just reply to this email. I’m launching my coaching offering soon, and I’d be honored to guide you on your own journey of self-exploration.
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